Post Diagnostic Reflections

A child’s Perspective

I want to say so many things to you, my family.

This feels so uncertain right now.

I felt so scared of the room

The process

All those questions.

The lists and benchmarks

They meant nothing to me.

What do they mean to you?

Will we all leave here

With an ‘other’ me?

Will you see me as less?

Will you want me to be ‘changed’?

Will you sign for them to mould and shape me?

Into someone I’m not?

Someone I was never meant to be.

Or, will you take my hand,

Knowing more, but not seeing less?

Please don’t stop seeing me!

Don’t change your perception,

Or belief in who I can be.

For with the right environment,

Unconditional love and support,

I can be all the things you saw before.

I am all the things you saw before!

Except now we have a name for my neurology.

A title for my identity.

My differently shaped nervous system makes more sense.

Please don’t respond with sadness.

Please don’t leave here with all those medical words in your head.

Please leave that terminology at the door.

Let us spend our time instead,

Understanding my essence.

Understanding my needs.

Understanding what supports me to thrive.

For all that you saw before,

Is still right beside you!

Loving you and believing every word and description you use.

Please celebrate me!

Celebrate my neurodivergent identity!

Teach me how to know my worth.

Teach me how to be proud of all that I am.

For in your unconditional and embracing arms

I can be free, to be all the things I’m meant to be.


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By Jessica Matthews

Writer, home educator and Autistic advocate, with specialisations in psychology, polyvagal theory, Autistic / neurodivergent wellbeing.
BACP Integrative therapist, Post Grad training in Clinical Psychology , BSC Psychology Hons degree.

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